


Power of Words

by dragonwriter24cmf



Category: Loveless
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Manipulation, Gen, Heavy Angst, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Torture, Introspection, POV Alternating, Partial Nudity, Public Humiliation, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-22
Updated: 2020-01-22
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:28:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22367188
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonwriter24cmf/pseuds/dragonwriter24cmf
Summary: After the grocery stop, Kio, Ritsuka and Soubi continue on to 7 Moons. All of them are thinking about what just happened. Kio can't believe he caused such an incident, Ritsuka can't believe he gave such an order, and Soubi's not sure how to handle this whole situation, because it's clear his words won't be enough.
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	Power of Words

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: All characters belong to the creators of Loveless

**Power of Words**

**Kio:**

He'd never dreamed words could be so powerful.

He knew about Soubi, and about Seimei. How they could use words as power, twist them into spells. He'd heard about it, in fits and starts. Soubi never told him much at any given time, but he'd heard enough. Besides, he'd seen Soubi wield that power of his, when he was in a mood. Like knowing that Soubi only painted butterflies when he was upset, he knew that Soubi had moods where he was honestly dangerous. Where just listening to his voice could mesmerize you, or tear you apart. But that was Soubi.

He was just an ordinary guy. If his words had power, it was only because he repeated them until his target broke down, as he had in becoming Soubi's friend. He'd never thought that his words could hold much power over someone. Not until he'd come back from the store and seen the two of them, sitting in the car...

He'd only meant to tell Ritsuka his honest opinion of Seimei. Sure, he'd known the kid would be upset, having his brother criticized and spoken ill of. Sure, he'd known that if Ritsuka was at all logical or thoughtful, the words would hurt him. But he wanted to know what kind of person Ritsuka was. More than that, he wanted the boy to know what kind of person he'd been raised with. He wanted Ritsuka to see what Seimei had done, what Seimei was, at least in his eyes.

He'd wanted, honestly, to believe that Ritsuka cared about Soubi. Cared enough to be upset by how Seimei had tortured the man. But he hadn't expected it to go so far.

In a way, he'd gotten his wish. Ritsuka was upset, certainly. And it certainly had to do with Soubi's scars. But to see Soubi, sitting half-naked in the back seat, his body and his shame exposed to the world...that was painful. To see Ritsuka, curled in the seat, shaking....he felt guilty, causing the boy so much stress. He hadn't meant to humiliate his best friend, nor devastate the youth so deeply.

He would have apologized, but wasn't sure how. Or to whom. To Soubi, for exposing him, for causing Ritsuka to do so? To Ritsuka, for forcing the awful truth on him?

He hadn't meant to cause such a violent reaction between the two of them. He only hoped that by the time they got to Goura, he'd know some way to fix it.

**Ritsuka:**

He felt sick inside.

Part of it was knowing what Seimei had done to Soubi. Seeing the scars etched into Soubi's skin, into his throat, branded into his body. Knowing that everyone was right, that Seimei hadn't been the gentle, kind figure he'd always known. But part of it...was at himself.

He hated giving orders to Soubi. Sure, Soubi had explained it. He had claimed Ritsuka as his Sacrifice, and thus wanted him to give orders. And Natsuo and Youji had explained too. Soubi needed orders. Needed the bond they enforced. But that didn't mean he had to like it, ordering the other man about.

He'd ordered Soubi into battle. He'd ordered him to do a few other things too, but mostly benign orders like 'Dry off' and 'Get some rest'. Or, when he was upset, 'go away'.

This order had been different, and it made him sick.

He'd humiliated Soubi. In public. Stood there in the parking lot and ordered him to strip. In front of the crowd. He'd known that the mere act of stripping, of being so exposed in public, was an embarrassment. He'd also known that this worse, that he was asking to see a shameful thing, a potentially painful secret, something Soubi wanted to hide. Not just embarrassment, but outright humiliation of his companion. And he'd ordered it anyway.

He'd hoped that this would be one of those times when Soubi defied him. Refused him. Soubi could, and would, do that if he thought it better for him. If he thought it was something Ritsuka didn't need, something he shouldn't or couldn't know, then he'd dodge the order until Ristuka gave up. He'd hoped this might be something Seimei had ordered Soubi to never do, like telling him about 7 Moons.

It hadn't been. Instead, Soubi had simply nodded, and begun to remove his clothing. His jacket, then his shirt, then the bandages over the scars on his throat. There in the parking lot, with people all around, in the freezing cold. He'd demanded Soubi bare his secrets, and Soubi had done it.

The image of Soubi, stripped to the waist and unwinding the ever-present bandages from his throat, was burned into his mind, leaving behind a sick feeling of shame. It didn't matter that Soubi had told him it was all right, said he didn't mind. It didn't matter that Soubi had accepted the order, explained the scars. In fact, it made it worse. He felt like he was taking advantage of the man. Like he had violated him. No matter that he hadn't actually made the scars. He felt it, deep within his soul. If he was capable of publicly shaming the man like that, he was capable of hurting him physically. Humiliating him further. Torturing him. He didn't want to know that about himself.

He didn't know which was worse. Knowing what Seimei had done, or what he had been willing to do to get the truth.

**Soubi:**

He hadn't meant for Ritsuka to know about his scars. Not the truth behind them, anyway. He hadn't meant to show him this. But...he hadn't expected Kio to be so adamant, so forceful in his declarations about Seimei.

He hadn't expected Ritsuka to give the order. Or to enforce it. He'd known Ritsuka was capable of commanding him, but the boy hardly ever did so, much less with enough force to make him submit. But Ritsuka had done it. Had ordered him to strip, there in the parking lot. And not one of his uncertain orders, but a rather forceful one. 

He'd seen Ritsuka's face as he gave the order. Determination and anguish mixed. That had been why he'd asked if Ritsuka meant it. But Ritsuka had repeated the order, and so he'd done as commanded.

True, it was humiliating. And he hadn't wanted Ritsuka to see him like that. But he'd known that this command was going to hurt both of them, in different ways. He'd known, from the moment Kio revealed Seimei's character, that this would devastate Ritsuka.

He'd explained the markings to Ritsuka as best he could. Explained what they meant to him. Explained the difference in his mind between abuse and ownership. He could see his Sacrifice's eyes that the explanation hadn't helped. He'd told Ritsuka that it was okay, both what had happened to him, and what Ritsuka had commanded him to do. But he knew it hadn't helped.

That was why he'd done nothing more than pull his discarded shirt over his shoulders when Ritsuka ordered him to dress. He knew Ritsuka needed to come to terms with it. With how Seimei had marked him. With what it meant, to give orders Sacrifice to Fighter, Master to Servant.

Words were his power, his weapon and his shield. But looking at that small back turned toward him, he couldn't think of anything to say. He didn't know what to tell Ritsuka. He didn't know how to make this easier. He almost always had something he could say, even if it wound up being the wrong thing, as it so often was with Ritsuka. And yet, he couldn't think of anything. Not even something that would make Ritsuka mad at him, to take his mind off of it. There was no spell that could make this easier, that could ease Ritsuka's hurt, or his own shame.

And so, he remained silent, sitting half-naked in the backseat, his Sacrifice at his side. Waiting for Ritsuka. Because his words were powerless until he knew how Ritsuka felt. So...until then, he could say nothing.

**Author's Note:**

> Just a little filler piece, because...angst. So much angst.


End file.
